What's new?

Life keeps going along, I know that it will not be as smooth in the future as it is now. This worries me to no end. I keep moving, not as much forward as much as I would like. I still have been unable to find a job. This is not new to 12% of the US population. I am trying hard every day to come to the realization that supporting my family will take a greater effort than I have given. I know that being at home for my boys is the best place for me to be than getting a job that will take me from them. It would be nice to have a job or more money so that I would not have to tell them no as much as I have to now. Them knowing that I am there for them when ever they need me is far too important. Being their foundation will build strong men. Raising my boys is not only my job, but my passion! Sacrifice is the key to our happiness. Sacrifice personal freedoms, wants and desires to do what I think is best for them. Some may disagree; that is fine with me, I know that it is right for me. I am hoping that the right job will come along that gives me freedom to be available when they need me and still give me income to become independent.
Independent from what? Financial independence. I want to not owe any money for my house. Yes, pay it off. Lofty goal? I think not. Hard work, sacrifice, dedication and devotion will make it happen.
The Cove Church is having a program called 'All In' they are trying to raise over $500,000 this Sunday. In one day. Pastor Mike as asked that we pray and answer God's calling for each of us. I am torn as to what to do. I am so scared that the up coming changes in my life will lead me to debt. Yet, I know that there are others that have so much less than I do and I could sacrifice more. There is nothing wrong living in with less than those around me, but I am scared for my boys. The gap between households is as wide as the Grand Canyon, and I am on the low end! I know that my children don't see it the same as I do. Yet it frightens me. I want them to have more that I can give them. They don't see a house, food or clothing as important. That is a given for them. They see toys as important. I know this mind set will change as they grow up. They will remember love, devotion, quality time, family time and consistency as the most important. I have and I will tell my children 'no' now so that they can have their Mom at home now and freedoms later.
If nothing else my boys know I made decisions the way I have because I love them.

Peace,
Maria